(MISCELLANEOUS)
"Change This"
Pickup Lines |
Put Downs |
| I'm God's gift to women, baby. | God must give gag gifts, because you're gagging me. |
| I'll let you do anything you want to me. | Then hunting you for sport it is my gun's in my purse, start running pal. |
| You want to meet my friend? | I've just made myself a stranger to you and your little pal. |
| I want to trade stock in you, baby. | If your IQ ever reaches 50, you should sell. |
| You're a flower, I want to pick you. | You're an ass, so go pick that. |
| What's it like being the luckiest girl in the world? | What's it like being the dumbest guy in the world? |
| That shirt is becoming on you, I'd be coming on you too? | That line really hurt me, I'm about to really hurt you too. |
| I'm trying to imagine you naked. | I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. |
| How much will it cost me to be serviced by you? | Sarcasm is the only service you're getting and it's free. |
| If you want to do it, I've got ten minutes. | Well don't you have delusions of adequacy? |
| Aw, come on, sure you remember me? | Oh yeah that's right! Gee, next time I'll have to flush twice. |
| Do you want to go back to my place? | No, I've never wanted to see hell. |
| Hey, baby, what's your sign? | It's a dead end for you pal. |
| I bet I could please every woman on earth. | By returning to your own planet? |
| You look like a dream. | You look like a nightmare. |
| Where have you been all my life? | Where have you been shopping all of yours, Goodwill? |
| Wanna take me out somewhere? | (Make a fist) No but I'll take you out right here. |
| Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? | Only you and you're dreaming. |
| What will it cost me? | Oh nothing, I give free sex changes. |
| My kiss is registered as a weapon. | Yeah and I know why too, because of your killer breath. |
| Are you looking for a man? | Yeah, do you know where I can find one? |
| Were you once a man? | Were you? |
| I can make you the happiest woman on earth. | Plan on getting lost in space do you? That would do it. |
| I'm easy why aren't you? | Because I'm smart, why aren't you? |
| Your like 7-11 baby but what time do your legs open? | Your like a huge wart I need to get rid of. |
| I'll take the sheepherder's special, some of ewe. | Then bend over so I can serve you my foot. |
| I'd go through anything for you. | Then go through the door and out of my sight. |
| Add you to me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply my pleasure. |
Add my fist to your face, subtract your teeth,
divide your butt cheeks while I multiply kicking you there. |
| Do you have a little (Ethnicity) in you? Do you want some? | You're a prime candidate for natural deselecting |
| I'm a former womanizer. | I'm a former fatal attraction. |
| Are you tired from running through my head so much? | No but I'm through listening to your tired pick up lines. |
| You're good looking honey. | But you're not, loser. |
| I bet your lips could make a lollipop very happy. | Your feet leaving could make me very happy too. |
| Hey it's about to rain, how about I use your big boobs as an umbrella? |
Well you got something in your teeth, how about you use your tiny penis as a toothpick? |
| Your name must be Campbell's, because you are mmm, mmm good. |
Your name must be Drano, because a big clog will
soon be gone. |
| You must know magic because you bewitched me. | I see another witch already turned you into a toad. |
| Your body is a temple and I want to worship it. | Sorry, services are forbidden to infidels. |
| I can tell you want me. | Yes, I want you to die. |
| Haven't I seen you someplace before? | Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. |
| Is this seat empty? | Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down |
| Your place or mine? | Both, you go to your place and I'll go to mine. |
| If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. | If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing. |
| I want to give myself to you. | I don't accept cheap gifts. |
| Hi, I'm your new husband. | And I'm your new X-wife, good bye. |
| There's a circus in my pants & you're invited. | Sorry, I have a fear of clowns. |
| There's a party in my pants & you're invited. | Only if I can bring my nut cracker. |
| Can I give you a ride? | No I don't want to go down a dead end road. |
| Lets go to my place and you can fix my toilet seat for me. | Only if I can flush you down it afterwards. |
| What would you say if I changed the alphabet so "U" & "I" are together? | No I'd rather say "F" - "U" |
| ***Any line used*** | Wow! I've discovered the missing link and now I know why it was missing for so long. |
| ***Any line used*** | Yeah, I've heard it. Thank you and good bye. |
| ***Any line used*** | Just like the 1900's Zeppelin crash, full of hot air. |
| ***Any line used*** | The only way I'd lay naked with you is in a mass grave. |
| ***Any line used*** | Did you make up that line yourself or did you have help? |
| ***Any line used*** | You're such a man, I'm so impressed... (Scoff) Not! |
| ***Any line used*** | If I want to talk to a vegetable I know where the market is. |
| ***Any line used*** | Hey aren't you that guy the on the news they caught making it with farm animals? Get away from me Caligula! |
| ***Any line used*** | If being ugly were a crime, you'd of been born in prison. |
| ***Any line used*** | Not the brightest crayon in the box now are you? |
| ***Any line used*** | Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. |
| ***Any line used*** | When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. |
| ***Any line used*** | You look the "do it yourself" type to me. |
| ***Any line used*** | I'm sorry but my last boyfriend was just murdered. (Pause) That is if my check cleared. |
| ***Any line used*** | Why should I suffer because you over inflated your blow up doll? |
| ***Any line used*** | When pick-lines fail and put downs attack. |
| ***Any line used*** | If you can read get "Pick up lines for dummies" before this happens again. |
| ***Any line used*** | Wait here, I'll have to ask my cult leader about you first. |