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National Security? Ha! Ha! Yeah right.



I write this for all the citizens of Earth who I wish to annoy the hell out of.

Where as, concept this is far beyond absurd but read it anyway.

Where as, I would like to thank all the little people in Area 51.

Where as, they eraced some of my mind so I can't recall what they looked like.

Where as, I've got that not so fresh felling. Just joking about that.

Where as, there are just too many damn humans on the planet earth.

Where as, when you wish to be alone there is always someone to bother you.

Where as, I've made a list of people I'd like to send to start a colony on Mars.

Where as, we can thin the ranks of the inbred hicks.

Where as, Rock -n- Roll will never die... But it's great musicans often do.

Where as, disco music has always sucked and forever will.

Where as, all corporate pop music both sucks and blows.

Where as, they don't write or play their own music... They are not musicans.

Where as, pop groups are no more than a flash in the pan.

Where as, Real musicans become legends dead or alive.

Where as, message mentioned goes on and on and on... However I'll go on to something else.


1 "If I be waspish, best beware my sting." - William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew
2 "Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a brick layer." - Bones from Star Trek T.O.S.
3 "Read my lips, no new taxes." - George Bush
4 "What me worry?" - Bugs Bunny
5 "I have a dream." - M.L.K., Address to the nation
6 "Time is the fire which we burn." - Malcolm McDowell, Star Trek Generations
7 "Yes there are 2 paths you can go by but in the long road, there's still time to change the road
you're on." - Led Zeppelin
8 "Go ahead make my day" - Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry
9 "You wanted the best, well they couldn't make it so instead you got us." - Guns & Roses intro
10 "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?" - 1950's USA saying
11 "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. - Believed to be from Russia
12 "Love is like a cloud it holds a lot of rain, love hurts." - Nazareth
13 "Oh man, I think I'm going to hurl." - Dana Carey, S.N.L.'s Wayne's World
14 What's in a name? That which we call a rose; by any other word would smell as sweet." - William
Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
15 "Somewhere there is a village deprived of it's idiot." - The Weakest Link, NBC game show
16 "All artist suffer for their art." - Gabrille, Xena Warrior Princess
17 "You know sometimes it gets hard to smile through it; when they ask you to bend over and
grab your ankles." - Fox Mulder, X-Files
18 "Don't f*ck with me fellows!" - Fay Dunnaway, Mommy Dearest
19 "Life is pain princess; anyone who says differently is selling something." - Westley,
The Princess Bride
20 "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what can I do for my country?" - J.F.K.
21 "You are the weakest link, good bye." - The Weakest Link, NBC game show
22 "You're going to end up eating a study dite of government cheese and living in a van
down by the river." - Criss Farley, S.N.L.
23 "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" - Chris Tucker, Rush Hour
24 "Great place to eat and get gas." - An old gas/store ad (2 way meaning sarcasm by error alert)
25 "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pail moonlight?" - Jack Nicholson, Batman
26 "You can't always get what you want but some times you get what you need." - The Stones
27 "Swift vengeance waits and art subdues the strong!" - Alexander Pope
28 "A man's greatest work is to break his enemies..." - Genghis Kahn
29 "Does he have his heart on for you?" - An old greeting card ad (Say it fast 10 times)
30 "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us,
do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - William Shakespeare,
The Merchant of Venice
31 "Not exactly my idea of foreplay but it will do." - Ares god of war, Xena Warrior Princess
32 "This is a war agaist terrorist." George W. Bush
33 "I'm a fool to do your dirty work." - Steely Dan
34 "Don't bet the trailer money yet..." - Dan Rather
35 "Most of the time I just make it up as I go along." - e.e. cummings
36 "Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom." - Robert Frost
37 "
He is today what he has always been and always will be... A FASCIST! From the movie Citizen Kane
38 "Hear me talkin' hillbilly boy?! I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'm gonna git Medieval on your ass." - Marsellus from the movie Pulp Fiction
39 "I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?" - Katarina from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You
40 "Don't QUOTE me on that." - A Common American saying


0.0 And yay, problems arose relating to the lost "WELCOME" front door mat.

1.0 And yay, it was replaced by the new "GO AWAY" front door mat.

2.0 And yay, someone left a burning sack of dog poop on it that night.

3.0 And yay, the front door mat burned and needed to be cleaned up.

4.0 And yay, the front door mat was trashed and then there wasn't one.

5.0 And yay, the "WELCOME" front door found at the end of the street.

6.0 And yay, all are welcome to come after they wipe their feet on the front door mat.


0.1 "It's not in what you've read."

0.2 "It's not what you've said."

0.3 "It's not even who you wed.

0.4 "It should never be inbred."

0.5 "It's like pulling on a thread.

0.6 "In a needle hole you fed."

0.7 "In the sheets of the bed."

0.8 "It's where you feet have lead."

0.9 "It's all only in your head."

0.0 "It doesn't matter when you're dead"


Cursed by Ironica the Goddess of Sarcasm as Ironican Temple fell.

Thanks to the dastards of NBCi after they took over XOOM.

May the flames of the slime fire pits of hell forever fly from their rear ends.

They crashed my site there but it didn't burn in vain.


Here I shall make a site that shall put my old one to shame.

My Final Thoughts...

Why hasn't the CIA learned not to highlight classified documents with black ink?

Why is it they can show a babies naked butt on baby products ads, when elsewhere it's child exploitation?

Why when someone dies do people say that this person was so full of life?
Just once I wish someone would remark by saying, "Yes but their body so empty with death now."

Cursed by Ironica the goddess of Sarcasm
As Ironican Temple fell into the dust of time.
Thus the exorcism of it faded away.
By the corporate dastards of the world.

You can send your frustrated comments to hell
This page is officially dead, long live the page.
Disclaimer: This page is not information to be used for evil.
Machine production of Acne fake products and Zits crackers.

"There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespeare